It’s Only Wednesday

10:12am – So I decided that I will keep a running post while I’m at work and feel like writing, then at the end of the day I will post. It’s just easier that way. Just like how I used to journal in middle school. Just write time stamped entries through out the day. It ends up being super entertaining at the end of the day because you get to see the mood swings and the random thoughts.

Last night Haven and Grim came over and when I got home from work I decided to eat one of the special cookies we made the night before. MAN OH MAN that’s potent stuff. Note to self: You don’t do it that often BECAUSE YOU DON’T REALLY LIKE IT. It was like having 4 out of body experiences at once. It also unleashed a wicked fucking migraine so I forced myself to go to sleep because I started feeling so sick. Then I slept on the couch all night. So did Cody but on the other end. Next time I think we split a cookie haha.

I still have the migraine now. I’m slowly dying but at least I don’t have the nausea that usually comes with it.

 

12:55pm – So last night I started watching girlboss on netflix and soon realized it is based on the founder of nasty gal and i’m obsessed. I downloaded the audio book on my lunch and I’m pretty much hoping I can just do that for the rest of the day. I’m so inspired by this story. I just want to spend all my money on being creative only I have no money. I wish I could be watching the show instead of listening to the book but I’m sure I wouldn’t get away with that as smoothly.

1:36pm – I want to write a book.

2:18pm – Or maybe a zine.

4:46pm – I just realized I’m here until 5:30 and not only another 15 minutes…. ugh.

But seriously this book has me so inspired I just want to go start being creative and making things that I can sell. I’m thinking it’s time to start venturing outside of just crochet. I think this whole thrifting clothes and repurposing them really has somthing to it. I’ve always been extra interested in fashion but never good at sewing patterns, but I have always altered almost all the stuff I own and wear things in unconventional ways. Maybe it’s time to start pulling out my inner stylist and put it to use. Plus, I already have a super nice camera (I named her Alice) and a sister that is model-esque. Seriously both of my YOUNGER sisters are taller than me and stick thin and gorgeous.

 

Slowwwwww

Another slow day at work. I remembered my headphones though so I am currently rocking out to Crazy In Love. 😀 😀

I also got paid today!!! It’s been probably two months since I’ve gotten a payday so I treated myself to a Venti White Chocolate Mocha and a chocolate chip muffin this morning. Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo good. I also bought 3 tickets to nothing more… because Zain has never been to a concert before!!!!! Can you even BELIEVE that?!?!?! I’ve been to so many, I can’t even keep track. So I bought one for us and then one for Grim as well. Hopefully he will be able to go. If not I’ll ask my sister. Because It’s about time she see’s them, I’ve only seen them probably pushing 5 times now? I’ve lost count haha.

 

Hmmmm, what else can I write about while I’m here at work trying to look busy?

Meika is doing really well. She is occasionally still having problems signalling that she has to go potty so that results in accidents. And all this week I’ve been waking up late so Cody has been letting her out and feeding her and crating her when he leaves. We got into a text argument about it yesterday but I think he was just having a bad day.

She is jjust like me when it comes to waking up and getting out of bed – she doesn’t. So this morning I stopped trying and just poured food in her bowl and said breakfast and whatdyaknow? she came running from the bedroom. Then I put her on the leash outside and literally had to push her out the door with my foot. I’m not sure if she went but she was scratching at the door to come in. So I let her in. Cody still will crate her when he leaves so she doesn’t have to be in there longer than what is needed. He texted me this morning and said he couldn’t find her…until he looked in the crate and she was already in there laying down! She is getting used to the routine and I am so proud of her.

 

Where Oh Where Did I Go

Honestly it’s been like two months since I’ve written? What the hell Megan get it together. Bullet points of since then…

  • got fired
  • had no job for like a month and a half
  • went on 10000 interviews
  • my due date came and went and it was difficult
  • Dove moved in (did that already happen in the last post? I don’t know)
  • Jay moved out (not peacefully)
  • we went to march event and had a threesome with a trans girl named Ariel
  • Haven got me a job working at his office and I absolutely love it
  • I brought home a puppy. Cody had no idea but he did let me keep it
  • puppy keeps pooping in the house BUT I WILL NOT GIVE UP
  • Ariel came to visit this past weekend and it was very fun.
  • I slept for three hours when I got home from work yesterday to recover, stayed up for like 2 hours to eat and then went to bed again until I woke up at 7 this morning.
  • my bank account is almost $300 in the negative but there is only three more days until I get paid so that’s awesome.

Hmmmmm, what else? I’ve been slacking on all my hobbies. And eating because I’m poor. Also, Puppy takes up so much time because I have so much love to give her. Her name is Meika and she will be 1 year old on May 15th. I absolutely adore her. Last night she was asleep on the couch next to me and I had to let her outside before I went to bed and she was so so tired she wasn’t waking up for me. I pet her and gave her kisses and she was just kind of half squinting her eyes open and it was the most adorable thing I have ever seen. Cody was laughing because that’s exactly me when people try to wake me up. Just one eye half open at a time. So I picked her up like a baby and carried her to the back door and she layed down which made putting her harness on extremely difficult. She is so cute. And she cuddles into me and I love it. All I have ever wanted is a dog of my own and she is a puppy and latching onto me so hard. The most satisfying part is that she likes me more than Cody. But she does adore him, he just yells at her more with his scary man voice so she is more nervous around him but she wants to make him happy so bad. I love it.

I’m currently at work and it is a very slow day so I’m taking a moment to write because I don’t want to keep being on my phone. I’ve caught up on everything so I don’t have anything really to do until another work order rolls in.

I really want to write about the event though, but not while I’m here. THAT would be awkward.

Tonight I’ve recruited Grim and Zain to help us move the blue couch from my momma’s to our place. WE WILL FINALLY HAVE OUR SECOND LIVING ROOM ALMOST SET UP. Except that means when I get home I have to move everything from in front of the window down to the basement which is going to suck. Maybe I will have Grim come over early to help me do that because Cody pulled an all nighter and I know he is going to be passed the fuck out when I get home.

4/4/17 @ 3:03PM

TEN OF SWORDS

General Meaning
The Ten of this suit represents finality, the end of something. As is easy to grasp from the picture in many decks, there is no hope for revival here. A limit has been reached, a line has been crossed and there is no turning back. In some situations this may be felt as a tragic loss, but it often brings with it a paradoxical sense of release and closure. The waiting and wondering are over. There is no more ambiguity. You can rightly let go and move on, as there is no more progress to be made here.
Emotionally and psychologically, this card appears when one is exhausted and used up, burnt out by the effort of caring and responding and trying to make a difference. When a person feels this way, they have reached burnout and can no longer be held responsible for anything, and therefore can be forgiven for caving in or ceding the fight. The simple instructions are: “Go no further along these lines!”

In the Advice Position
Protect yourself while the storm rages and focus on rebuilding after it passes.
The card in the Advice position suggests a course of action which will harmonize what you want with what is currently possible.
The Ten of Swords in this position advises that you lay low for a while. Don’t make a move. Keep yourself as safe as possible until the drama, even the possible trauma, plays itself out. Once the turmoil dies down, then you can assess the damage and start to make repairs. The situation can be compared to a hurricane moving through the neighborhood. You can’t be sure whether it is going to pass over a corner of the field or whether it is going to slam into your house.
In the face of such unpredictability, protect yourself, hope for the best and wait it out. Sometimes, an extreme turn of events serves as a pressure relief valve for all the unexpressed and unresolved energy that had been building up. Trust the process even though things may seem pretty drastic right now.

SIX OF WANDS

General Meaning
This suit, most often called “Wands” and sometimes called “Rods” or “Staves,” represents initiative, ambition, drive and desire. This is the suit of enterprise and risk-taking.
The Six of this suit points to the respect and acknowledgment due to you for your efforts to solve the problems of your community. The image is usually of a victory parade, after the celebrated leader helped troops win a pivotal battle.
It took the whole tribe to win the victory, of course, but it was the leader’s heroism and clarity under pressure that inspired them to overcome. The team is thrilled that the leader led them to victory. This card points to a time to let everyone relax and celebrate — if you are the leader, let them applaud you. They are seeing their better selves reflected in you — a victory indeed!

In the Advice Position
Fearlessly act on your convictions and others will be inspired to support your ideals.
The card in the Advice position suggests a course of action which will harmonize what you want with what is currently possible.
The Six of Wands in this position advises taking action on your most burning and passionate convictions, no matter what the social consequences. Continue to articulate and define yourself in light of the torch you are carrying. This inspires others to conceive some new ideas of their own.
You may find yourself becoming something of a leader. Usually the first person to break away from conventional thought is the one to define a new trend. Under the circumstances, there is a solid need for a fresh voice and vision — so make your move. Those around you who are ready for change will support your leadership.

TEN OF WANDS

TEN OF WANDS TAROT CARD MEANINGS KEYWORDS
Upright: Burden, responsibility, hard work, stress, achievement
Reversed: Taking on too much, avoiding responsibility

TEN OF WANDS TAROT CARD MEANINGS AND DESCRIPTION
The Ten of Wands shows a man carrying a very heavy bundle of wands or sticks. He appears to be over-burdened with the weight, yet he knows he is not far away from the town he is walking towards. This card appears to indicate someone who has just finished a harvest and is struggling to bring the fruits of his labours to the local market.

UPRIGHT TEN OF WANDS TAROT CARD MEANINGS
The Tens in Tarot represent the completion of a cycle, and thus with the Ten of Wands, you have reached the end of a cycle after a period of struggle. You are finally reaping your rewards after investing a lot of hard work and effort. You have fulfilled a creative venture, realised a dream or accomplished a major goal, and now must deal with the consequences of that fulfilment.
However, the Ten of Wands suggests that even with the achievement of your goal, there comes with it great responsibilities and commitments. While you have reached a point of completion, you are becoming starkly aware that you must now carry on with the responsibilities you have laid out for yourself, in order to ensure ongoing success. The trouble is, however, that these responsibilities may become too much to bear and you are struggling to let go. It is a bit like the business owner who creates a flourishing business but who is unprepared to delegate some of his/her responsibilities to the staff, and ends up working 70-80 hours a week. The inspiration and creativity that was associated with the initial goal or vision rapidly disappears, and everything becomes hard work all too quickly. Thus, it is incredibly important to let go of or delegate some of your responsibilities in order to free you up to still enjoy life.
The Ten of Wands serves as a reminder of how much we take on in our lives and all the extra burdens and responsibilities we weigh ourselves down with. We take on so much, trying to do all the things that need to be done. Thus, this card asks you to stop and examine your current lifestyle or work. Assess which activities or tasks are really urgent or really important, particularly in relation to your broader goals. You may need to employ various time management or prioritisation methods in order to determine where best to spend your time and which tasks you can drop. Your goal needs to be greater efficiency, whilst also freeing yourself up for rest and relaxation when you need it.
This card can also mean that you are being oppressed by outside sources. You are over-worked, over-tired and over-stimulated. You have more on your plate than you can possibly handle and you have taken on too much at this point in time. In an effort to get to the finish line, you have found yourself overwhelmed with the extra responsibility and activity. You need to stop working so hard. If you cannot stop, then conserve your energy and pace yourself. When you are over-committed everything becomes a strain.

REVERSED TEN OF WANDS TAROT CARD MEANINGS
Upright, the Ten of Wands reflects that you have taken on a heavy burden. Reversed, the Ten of Wands indicates that you are unnecessarily holding on to this burden when you do not need to. If you are feeling weighed down by your present circumstances, look at different ways you can lighten the load. Can you delegate certain tasks and responsibilities? Are you worrying about matters that do not concern you or cannot be changed? Do not become a martyr and take on more than you can realistically handle.
If you are going through a challenging time, then the Ten of Wands reversed indicates that this time will soon pass and you will feel less of a burden weighing on your shoulders.
You may be actively identifying those activities that do not bring you any value in your life and you are starting to release yourself from these unnecessary responsibilities. You may even be going through a purging process, clearing out old clothes and selling old furniture, in order to de-clutter and simplify your life. You will benefit from better organisation and prioritisation at this time.
Sometimes, the reversed Ten of Wands indicates that you are avoiding responsibility and making it even more difficult for others who must take on your share. Thus, the saying, “You have made your bed, now lie in it,” is very appropriate for this card.

JUSTICE

DESCRIPTION

On Card 11 we see the familiar figure of Justice. She has the scales of equality and impartial judgment in one hand, and the sword of decision in the other. In the tarot, Justice represents the understanding that life is ultimately fair and just. Even though the vagaries of day-to-day life tend to make us doubt this fact, Justice reminds us that there is divine balance. Notice the similarity between the Emperor and Justice. Both cards stand for universal order; the Emperor in its underlying structure, Justice, in the action of karma – cause and effect.

There is a serious feel to Card 11 – the tone of the courtroom. This card refers to legal matters of all kinds, but is not restricted to them. The courts are where judgments are made and decisions rendered. Our legal system is the official arena in which we explore the principles of Justice – fairness, impartiality and the quest for truth.

In readings, Justice often appears when you are concerned with doing what is right or making sure you receive your due. This card can also appear when you are feeling the impact of a past mistake or good deed. The cause you set in motion at one time is now returning to you as an effect.

Sometimes Justice is a signal to do what needs to be done. A time comes when responsibilities must be accepted, and accounts settled. The past will continue to haunt you if you do not recognize your mistakes and make amends for them. You will need to weigh matters carefully and perhaps make important decisions about your future course.

QUEEN OF SWORDS

General Meaning
Representing the energy of a Queen, this feminine power was traditionally known as a widow, crone or divorcee. In modern times, she can be viewed as a model of self-sufficiency, independence and intelligence. She often has extremely high standards due to her subtle sensitivities, which can be perceived by those around her as being critical or hard to please. Her true motive is to refine the world, to upgrade peoples’ understanding — so that everyone can have the space they need to become fully themselves.
She is not interested in conforming. She is too intelligent to be confined to the role of housewife or nursemaid, although she is perfectly competent in those areas. She chooses her associations (or her solitude), and is seldom caught up in dependent relationships — at least not for long. Her intelligence is not always the most comfortable to be around, but she can be counted on to see through superficiality and point to the truth of a situation.

In the Advice Position
Make your own decisions. Exercise as much independence as you know you can handle.
The card in the Advice position suggests a course of action which will harmonize what you want with what is currently possible.
The Queen of Swords in this position advises that you refrain from remaining dependent on others at this time. Instead of placing too much confidence in the promises people have made, harbor only those ambitions you know you can accomplish yourself.
The Queen of Swords does not want to wait and see what others would think, say or do. She knows what she wants and how to get it. She doesn’t ask permission or even subject herself to much influence. There are times in life when no one can take care of you as well as you can. Leave sentimentality behind and take action. Make important decisions for yourself because it’s up to you. You are the final judge.

ACE OF CUPS

ACE OF CUPS TAROT CARD MEANINGS KEYWORDS
Upright: Love, compassion, creativity, overwhelming emotion
Reversed: Blocked or repressed emotions

ACE OF CUPS TAROT CARD MEANINGS AND DESCRIPTION
The Ace of Cups shows a hand holding a cup or chalice that is overflowing with five streams of water. The hand that appears from the clouds represents our consciousness of spiritual energy and influence. Radiating from the hand are rays which symbolises that you must always trust your inner feelings and your heart to lead the way. This is your intuition and inner power talking to you. The five streams represent the abundance and power of the spirit and the effect of spiritual energy upon our five senses. A dove holding a wafer or small disc in its mouth descends from above, signifying the incarnation and appearance of the spirit in the material world. Below the hand is a great sea covered with lotus blossoms, symbolising the awakening of the human spirit. The cup has an upside down M or a W inscribed on it.

UPRIGHT ACE OF CUPS TAROT CARD MEANINGS
In the Ace of Cups, a huge cup is being offered to you and you are being invited to reach out and drink from it. This is a symbol of fulfilment, not just emotionally but also spiritually. The opportunity for fulfilment is there – will you take it? Whether you are going to reach out now and take up this opportunity will depend on how much you need emotional and spiritual fulfilment in your life right now.
The Ace of Cups represents the beginning of love, happiness and compassion. It can indicate the start of a new relationship, be it a friendship or a romance. This is one of those relationships where you feel butterflies in your stomach and you are so pleased to have met someone with whom you can share a special connection. The water in the card reflects the flow of emotion and thus the Ace of Cups suggests that positive emotion and energy will be created between two people in a way that leaves you feeling good about yourself and life in general. You need to experience the feeling of new love or of giving and receiving unconditional love. Give and accept love on a new level and open your heart to what is around you. Your loving ways will magnetise love to you.
This card often means that love is the essence of the situation. It may or may not be romantic love. Look for ways in which you can begin to connect with others. Do you have someone to forgive, or do you want to ask for forgiveness? Can you set aside your anger and find peace? Would you like to drop your reserve and let your feelings show? This is a peaceful time in your life so use it and make peace with friends or yourself.
The Ace of Cups is also about creative expression, particularly where there is an opportunity to allow your emotions to shine through. You are very open to experiencing your inner feelings and sharing them with others. You may be inspired to start a new creative project, take up an art class or two, or even engage in interpretative dance. You are at that point in your life where you feel comfortable with who you are and what you feel and you are not afraid to express that part of yourself to others. You see new potential in allowing your creative juices to flow and as such, you are open to new possibilities and stimulating your imagination to allow your talent to unfold.
There is certainly a generous, compassionate component to the Ace of Cups. This is a time of giving, not taking, and offering yourself to a new opportunity to help others. You have the power to bring great happiness to others and to share your contentment and positive energy. You will also find that the more you give, the more you receive on multiple levels.
The Ace of Cups often points to fertility. From a very literal point of view, this means that the Ace of Cups can indicate conception, pregnancy or birth. Look to other cards in the reading to confirm that there is indeed a chance of new life (typically the Empress and Page of Cups). On a more metaphorical level, there may be the ‘birth’ of a new idea or a spark of new inspiration. It can represent the beginning of a project in which a great deal of loving and creative energy is invested.

REVERSED ACE OF CUPS TAROT CARD MEANINGS
The reversed Ace of Cups may call on you to curb your emotions somewhat for your greater benefit. For example, ending a relationship may spur you on to wanting to cry and cry for days on end but what the Ace of Cups reversed tells us is that in order to heal, you really need to push back the tears and fight on in order to retain a balance. Try not to let your emotions get the better of you or take an unhealthy hold of your life. Sometimes it is possible to express ourselves TOO much, and in doing so, share our vulnerabilities or worse, attack the vulnerabilities of others. Find ways to constructively express what you feel so that you can continue through life with a more balanced perspective.
Alternatively, the reversed Ace of Cups could suggest that you have repressed your feelings too long and it is now the time to release them. You may have bottled up so many emotions that you have become almost void of feeling true emotions and instead feel a general ‘numbness’ inside. In a relationship reading, the reversed Ace of Cups can indicate that you are withholding your emotions, for fear of getting hurt. You know that in order for the relationship to move forward and flow freely you must eventually trust in your partner but for the time being, you are holding back.
You may also be experiencing a roller-coaster ride when it comes to your emotional well-being. There are so many ups and downs in your life that sometimes you do not know if you are coming or going. Life has become emotionally exhausting and now your energy is running out. You need to look after your emotional health. Be conscious about how you are feeling and how this may be impacting your responses and reactions.

FIVE OF PENTACLES

DESCRIPTION

The two figures on the Five of Pentacles are cold, hungry, tired, sick and poor. They show us what it feels like to be without – to lack the basic ingredients of life. This is the specter that haunts so many in our world – a reality that is all too immediate. Those of us who are more fortunate may not have experienced this extreme, but we still recognize suffering. When we do not have what we want and need, it hurts.

In readings, the Five of Pentacles can represent several kinds of lack. First, there is poor health. It is hard to tackle life’s challenges when we do not have our vitality and strength. This card can be a signal that you are neglecting the needs of your body. You are moving away from complete physical well-being, so you must take steps to discover and correct the problem.

This card can also be a sign of material and economic setbacks. There is no doubt that life is harder when we lack money or a decent job. When we are struggling to make ends meet, all other problems are magnified. Even if we are comfortable, we can still feel insecure, afraid that misfortune will take away all that we have worked for.

The Five of Pentacles can also represent rejection or lack of acceptance. We are social animals and feel pain when excluded from our group. We want to be included, not only for our emotional well-being, but also for mutual support. Being rejected can mean physical hardship as well.

The Five of Pentacles relates to material lack, but it also has a spiritual component. From the stained glass window, we can guess that these two figures are outside of a church. Comfort is so close at hand, but they fail to see it. The church symbolizes our spirits which are perfect and whole in every way. We are meant to enjoy abundance in all areas of life, but sometimes we forget that this is our birthright. Whenever you experience hardship, know that it is only temporary. Look for the spiritual center that will take you in and give you shelter.

KNIGHT OF SWORDS

General Meaning
This card is traditionally entitled The Knight, but in some modern decks appears as The Prince. Traditionally, this card portrays the restless mind, aroused by thoughts of offense and defense, storming around searching for a target to pounce on. He often feels slighted, has a chip on his shoulder and bristles with a hostile attitude. His usual method is to look for someone to blame for his irritation.
Furthermore, in an attitude of righteousness, he may assign himself the job of correcting the offender. Jumping easily to conclusions, he shoots first, asks questions later and is therefore often guilty of overkill. This is not to say that he does not have his heroic side; a single-minded combativeness can have its value. However, even when he is doing the right thing, he is likely to be doing it for the wrong reasons. Apt advice for this card is to deeply question your motives for what you are thinking about doing. Forethought will assist you in discriminating between righteous and unrighteous causes. Control any traces of impulsive judgement!
Occasionally you will notice in the detail on the card, that the person can be a woman rather than the expected man. There is some evidence that the tradition of knighthood included a certain number of “anonymous knights” who took mythic names and veiled their true identities. Living on the road with few or no servants, they served as freelance defenders of travelers, champions of the little people against the exploitation of both highway robbers and the wealthy classes. Odds are that some of these knights-errant were camouflaged women, and that idea is preserved with the traditional representation of the Sword Knight.

In the Advice Position
Refine your communication and negotiation skills so you are at peak effectiveness.
The card in the Advice position suggests a course of action which will harmonize what you want with what is currently possible.
The Knight of Swords in this position advises you to remain open to conflicting ideas instead of surrounding yourself exclusively with people who agree with you. This Knight is most effective when testing his ideas in a debate. Emulate his ability to communicate successfully by keeping your conversations impersonal and humorous so no hurt feelings are provoked.
Practice your negotiation skills so you will be in shape for imminent diplomatic challenges as they arise. A sparring partner could help you learn to control impulsive comments and stem your urge to be right at the expense of others being wrong.

FIVE OF PENTACLES

FIVE OF PENTACLES TAROT CARD MEANINGS KEYWORDS
Upright: Isolation, insecurity, worry, financial loss, poverty
Reversed: Recovery from financial loss, spiritual poverty

FIVE OF PENTACLES TAROT CARD MEANINGS AND DESCRIPTION
The Five of Pentacles, like the fives in the other suits, portrays a situation of adversity. In this card, a destitute couple walk through the snow outside the stained glass of a brightly lit church window. The church is symbolic of providing spiritual comfort while helping those who cannot help themselves. The man uses a crutch because of his crippled leg and the woman attempts to cover herself with her threadbare shawl. Both appear to be living in poverty and with little or no possessions.

UPRIGHT FIVE OF PENTACLES TAROT CARD MEANINGS
The Five of Pentacles typically points to a time of financial strife, poverty and adversity and indicates that you have suffered a significant financial loss or failure. This card shows the many faces of material misfortune and lack, including loss of funds, general poverty, illness, unemployment, and solitude. If you have suffered a loss, know that there are people around you who are willing to help. There is always a solution and always a way out, so either open your eyes and go to it, or close your eyes and let the inner light guide you.
Often, what has caused these financial problems is a matter of your own emotions – greed will lead to loss, anxiety will lead to error, possessiveness will lead to solitude. By focusing on the material, you lose sight of your spiritual development. You may be rich for a while but all will be lost if you learn nothing.
On a psychological level, the Five of Pentacles may indicate difficulty with your relationship to money and material things. If money becomes the primary motivating force in life and the gauge by which you judge your worth, the lack of it may produce anxiety and a sense of being excluded from the good things money can provide. For example, if you are unfortunate enough to encounter financial difficulties such as the loss of employment or an investment gone belly-up, you may fall into the trap of losing faith in your ability to recreate a positive financial situation for yourself. Therefore, you should not only consider your actual financial circumstances but also your attitudes toward money. What fears do you have around money and wealth? Are you anxious about never having enough, or do you have faith in your ability to manifest what you need to live a prosperous, fulfilled life no matter what your circumstances? Often wealth is based as much on your psychological state as your actual financial state.
In a world that often equates success with financial wealth, the loss shown on the Five of Pentacles can be a humbling blow to your self-esteem and sense of self-worth. This loss can occur in any number of ways but even though an external event may seem to be the cause, this card often reflects that the loss is something you have bought upon yourself. There is a spiritual loss that often precedes or accompanies loss of material wealth.
The Five of Pentacles can also point to a time of being alone, feeling abandoned, ignored and unwanted. You may be excluded from group events or you are being ostracised by others. You are in desperate need of support and comfort from those who actually care.

REVERSED FIVE OF PENTACLES TAROT CARD MEANINGS
The Five of Pentacles reversed indicates an end to difficult times, particularly if you have recently suffered a major financial loss or job loss. You may find new sources of income, a new job, or someone has offered to help you out while you get back on your feet. You may be starting to feel as if life is worth living again and starting to regain your self-confidence. Finally you can see a way out of your financial difficulties and your hope is being renewed.
The reversed Five of Pentacles can sometimes indicate the persistence of inner, spiritual poverty. It reflects a time when you feel isolated and alone, even if surrounded by many people. You may feel as though something is just completely out of place and you are struggling to place your finger on what it is. Return to the Four of Pentacles and you may come to realise that you have placed too much emphasis on your material wealth and have neglected your spiritual well-being.

STRENGTH

DESCRIPTION

Usually we think of strength in physical terms – big arms, powerful legs – but there is also inner strength. Inner strength comes from an exercise of the heart muscle. It is perseverance, courage, resolve and composure – qualities that help us endure when times are tough. In the past, a person with inner strength was commonly said to have character; he or she could be counted on in the darkest moments. Card 8 represents this energy of quiet determination. Strength is not a flashy card, but one that is solid and reliable.

Card 8 also represents patience and compassion. Getting angry is easy when events turn sour, but dealing calmly with frustration takes great strength. So does accepting others and forgiving mistakes. We need strength to mold situations softly. The Chariot controls through mastery and authority. Card 8 is more subtle, even loving. Notice how the lion (itself a symbol of strength) is being guided and tamed by the woman’s gentle hands.

Card 8 will appear in a reading when its qualities are needed. It can be a reminder not to despair or give up. You have the inner strength to endure and triumph. If you are pushing too hard, you need to withdraw for the moment and be patient. If other people or circumstances are driving you crazy, remember the strength that comes with love and forbearance. These will see you through the hardest moments.