LONG TIME, NO SEE

It’s been a while since I’ve written, I did write in my bullet journal for a week but I thought that would take up too many pages. I wanted to start writing in my actual journal after that but it never seems to make it out of my bag. I figure since my laptop is basically glued to my lap, I would start writing here, just to get it all out of my system.

My intentions with this site is to organize my thoughts. kind of. I have so many hobbies and interests that is hard to keep everything straight so I thought I would super organize here. Right now I am obsessed with learning Tarot.

What’s going on in my life right now you ask? Well I think I finally found an antidepressant that is working. I am doing so well at keeping up with house work, like actually doing laundry and folding it and putting it away, and keeping the sink (mostly) clear of dishes. Living with two guys makes that difficult. Cody and I are officially boyfriend and girlfriend. Because you know, we do everything backwards. We are living in the yellow house. I lived here this summer when I found out I was pregnant. Shortly after that I moved in with my Mom to save money, but when I miscarried I started staying with Cody. I love this house. Jay is still staying here, as our roommate. we are taking over the house legally, Jay is recovering from H leaving him and having a really hard time with it… I’ll just leave it at that for now. He is approaching the time frame we had set for him to move out and move on, but I’m honestly afraid to send him off into the world. I would feel responsible if anything bad were to happen.

Really guys, why do I have to be so caring and maternal?

Work is going a lot better than when I had first started. They are actually super understanding of the mental health struggle I have been having. I’m also able to tolerate the awfulness of the people better now that I am on a medication that I am not having an adverse reaction to. I’m staying regular with therapy. I’m trying to keep up on taking vitamins and doing yoga and focusing on hobbies that make me happy. And as oldschool and cliche as this may sound, keeping the house in a decent state is actually one of those hobbies. Feeling like a little housewife while dancing around to music is quite therapeutic. I don’t mind it, I think it’s because there is no expectation or pressure to do it like in previous relationships…

Health wise I am having a difficult time with my tummy. It is always upset. TMI time: I either have diarrhea or can’t go at all (but still feel like I’m about to crap myself. And it doesn’t really correlate with anything I eat, it all just happens so suddenly. I am sooooo tired of it. My migraines haven’t been too bad though, since I’ve been on the medication that works. The sinus headaches are killin me though because this winter has been so mild, and back and forth with the warmth and frigidness.

 

1/30/17 @ 9:14PM

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