DOIN NOTHIN

I don’t know how I get so caught up in doing nothing that I forget to write. It’s been a long week of struggling with my anxieties and depression. I think I have been on the paxil long enough now that the initial “yay it’s working!” is starting to balance out. I don’t feel as bad as I did but I feel like it’s working a little less. Which I guess is normal because now my body has balanced it back out I guess. I may need to increase the dose slightly. I have motivation but I am not as motivated as I was. I’ve started slacking on the cleaning and the laundry and whatnot again. I want the ‘i can do anything’ feeling back. I want to feel like I’m going to take over the world.

Today is my day off, and I have a super bad migraine, I can barely read the words on my screen because my eyes feel like they are being squeezed out of my head. All I’ve been doing all week is binge watching netflix (currently ghost whisperer and criminal minds) and working on my book of shadows. I have so many ideas and it’s all coming together. I am doing a hand written one too, and for a rough copy I am just writing it on loose leaf and keeping it in a three ring binder. then I am gonna gather my information and rewrite it in my words and copy it into these beautiful metallic journals I have been collecting. I am also going to have everything typed up on here. eventually. I used to think that a book of shadows had to mirror all the examples I saw and have certian sections and what not but it is all making sense to me now. Not once have I cast a circle or a spell, I don’t need those sections. I am just making sections and gathering info on what I am interested in. I choose wicca for the more spiritual side, not for the actual practicing side.

Section ideas are: tarot, chakras, herbs, gardening, sabbats, color/candles, stones/gems, greek gods, egyptian gods.

And the beautiful part is I’m seeing that it doesn’t have to be set in stone. I can change and move things around as I see fit. Add and take away parts as I want. I don’t have to follow any preset rules, I can just do it however I would like. That’s always been very hard for me, not having specific guidelines to follow or a set way of doing things. Not everything has to be systematic.

Hmm, what else this week? OH! I got my tax refund and paid off the rest of my car! It feels so good to finally officially own it. I also went on an Amazon shopping spree. I bought 10 books and like 2 journals. I can’t wait for them all to get here. I got 4 already because I choose them to ship as they were available. The rest ship today. I can’t wait.

Ok, for now, back to Netflix and time to switch the laundry over and try to get this migraine to go away. And more BOS planning.

 

2/13/17 @ 2:04PM